he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
