chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
