evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
