You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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