I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize