You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
no you cant smoke seaweed
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
