her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
