Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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