he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize