I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize