I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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