did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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