I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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