I think I just saw someone hide a body.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize