They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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