it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
