Can Purell be used as lube?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
