I love black thongs
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Who died my cat blue again?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
