mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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