apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
