So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Enjoy the penises
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize