Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
pop tarts are not kleenex
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
