i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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