Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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