I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
