I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
