there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
