Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize