this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
