How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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