Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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