She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
