They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
