My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
