you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
