DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
