pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
