love makes seman taste better
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
