Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
