At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
