You're my little dorito
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
