dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
