Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
