best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
