I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
