I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
