So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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