I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
