need another drink. this is the easiest way
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize