I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
