Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
