Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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