There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
