i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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