she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize