And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
